my self 

as i felt today 

so some can't see this ... 

oil on canvas

a landscape near Firuzkuh is village near my city Tehran

not easy ! and not finished i may change something 

....

some asks me why do u painting this much?

u know there is one thing i have and this is painting now a days i find living in tehran too hard

people are poor and diplomacy and .. are so fucked up...

so i am one of these people too i had many hope some years ago but today i feel like an old 

this is it ..life! i accept and appreciate  it 

i have nothing ..

MAYBE:

 i am not reach enough to get a house for myself  

 i am not cute enough to find a girlfriend 

 i am not amazing enough to be a famous 

i am not lucky enough to live a better life

SURE 

I AM MAN ENOUGH TO LIVE AND LOVE AND DIE AS A PAINTER

THIS IS THE WAY I WOULD NEVER CHANGE IT EVEN IF I AM NOT
GOOD ENOUGH TO BE AN ARTIST

self portrait on canvas 

not finished yet 

 i can put some extra colors on the face ...

i was fat but now a days am going to be thin again 

3 weeks ago i had a little panic attack like a little epilepsy so that was so bad 

i feel better now sometimes i feel good "if  bastards around me let me rest enough some people are..."

i feel angry and week and i need a vacation and peace 

so this is my portrait of an unknown frightened  and week situation   ...

but i feel like a strong man inside because i believe in the way i am...

have a beautiful time 

she is as beautiful as a Disney character comes out of the screen ...

like a fairy   ...

this girl asked me too paint her 

i said i need u to draw 

she gave me some pictures  so i find it not enough but not bad for painting 

so i sketched and put some light on her face and make it with oil on paper 

then i asked her a kiss ..shut up! she said 

this is it 

dhe has an ancient portrait i'll do more on this later 

and i will ask again and again 

people always left me for being who i am not pretend to be !

not an artist i mean a horny lonely sad scared boy that hates masturbation

but...

so being ur self is easy just feel what u can't feel

then fell down .. 

special tnx to my friend Mrs. N

i love this and i'l work it more i hope i can find more of her 

usually i pick girl's portraits to me it is beautiful just like a piece of  a flower 

but i do know that flowers can be poisoned ..so u don't have too eat anything in the world too

fell the joy of that u can just pick a moment ...u can have ur imaginations  u can love and leave just in 2 seconds

u can't love anybody other than yourself  ...everything we love is a part of us 

nothing outside  u see is beautiful  ..  

ps: i love you my brother cause you are a big piece of me and you are in my heart 

Digitally painted etude for a big new canvas

 i may put more figures and add some negative colors 

it has a seance of dancing specially Persian and Azerbaijani  dancing rolls to me i can't dance well every body knows that aha ! i'd like to dance but i can't get a good feeling acting 

so i'll put this  here and later i'll work on this project

..ps: i was talking to a girl i feel sometimes she is a kind of  nice lady too me but there are many problems 

pss: of i make this picture on a big canvas i'll design it wide  and make it my most beautiful joy full paintings maybe i should sketch more for it 

pss:   i just don't know how to do to it

 rele help me if u want !